And God was always right; so I decided I would only like girls even if I could feel that I liked looking at them less than I should. I didn’t watch the porn my classmates shared on their phones in the hallways before class or sitting on the lawn in front of the Cathedral. At home, I would watch women with women and men with women on my phone, trying only to focus on the women as I touched myself. But those men, their bodies, their sounds. I wanted to gouge out my eyes. Sometimes I asked God for deliverance. Sometimes I held my own breath and circled my hands around my throat and squeezed until they grew tired and I coughed saliva over my lips and onto my chin. Sometimes I cried. When my mother asked me what was wrong I said homework. She never probed any further. Sometimes when Meredith touched me, when she circled her arms around my neck or pinched my butt, I felt something, but never very strong or for very long.
Uzodinma Iweala- Speak No Evil
With his masterpiece, “All our Lives”, Tochukwu Emmanuel Okafor became the first male and first Nigerian to win the 2017/2018 Short Story Day Africa Prize. Below are his thoughts on Uzodinma Iweala’s Speak no Evil: